And again I sit here with that all too familiar feeling in my belly. It is something between nausea and punch in the gut. Waiting. Praying for something to happen - for the phone to ring. For someone to want me. To hire me.
I am paralyzed by this waiting. I can't leave the house. I can't do laundry. I can't focus on my book. All I can do is sit and wait.
It is so disgusting.
I would never want anyone to know how bad it is. How pathetic I really have become.
And today is a little worse. I have to go for oral surgery this afternoon. That means leaving the house and being away from the phone. That phone that isn't going to ring anyway.
So this is Monday. And Tuesday will be the same. And my life sucks.
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